How To Massage Kale

Written on September 2, 2011 by Wannabe Chef in Entree

I know this is the second kale post in 3 days, but bear with me; it’s that good.

The first time I had massaged kale was at Whole Foods from the salad bar. It was so good I ended up getting it every time I went in. But after a while of paying $7.99 per pound for it I figured it had to be cheaper to make at home.

Massaging your own kale takes just a few ingredients and 5 minutes. It breaks down the kale without heating it so the nutrients all remain but the taste is less bitter and bite less sharp. It’s a great nutritious side dish or base for a salad.

It’s totally optional but dimming the lights, lighting a candle, and putting on a slow song really sets the mood. This is a massage after all.

How To Massage Kale

Prep time: 5 minutes

Cook time: 0 minutes

You’ll need(for 2 side servings)…

2 cups roughly chopped kale
1/2 a large avocado
Juice of 1/2 lemon(or lime), about 1 Tablespoon
1 medium tomato, diced
1/4 teaspoon sea salt

In a large bowl, mix the greens with the citrus juice.

Add in your avocado. Then it’s time to gently massage the avocado into the kale…

Or, if you’re like me, it’s going to look a lot more like clumsy groping than an actual massage. I guess the two are close enough; one usually leads to the other, right? Anyway, massage the kale by working it with you’re hands, incorporating the avocado and lemon juice. You’ll hear a lot of crunching noise. After about 5 minutes you’ll notice the kale turns from a muted color to a more lively green. That’s when it’s ready.

Add in the diced tomato and sea salt and gently fold all of the ingredients together. Serve at room temperature.

This method is so much cheaper than buying it from the salad bar, and much quicker than I expected, too! Whole Foods uses about twice as much avocado for this much kale. That’s probably why it tastes so much better there.

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Go-To Hummus Recipe

Written on September 1, 2011 by Wannabe Chef in Snack

This weekend was a rush. When everyone else was loading up on food to brace for Hurricane Irene, we were loading up on food for a neighborhood party. I made a few things including hummus, because what’s a party without hummus? Ain’t no party like a hummus party ‘cause a hummus party don’t stop.

My favorite hummus recipe isn’t very fancy. It doesn’t have red pepper or pine nuts or artichokes or whatever. It’s just a trusty, reliable, go-to garlic hummus. What really helps enhance the flavor is a hefty dose of salt, good olive oil, and peeled chickpeas.

Peeling chickpeas is a little tip I learned from bloggers for a smoother, creamier hummus. It takes a lot more time and it’s kind of a gross process, but once you taste hummus made with peeled chickpeas it’s hard to justify going back to “regular”. If you don’t have time, don’t worry and skip it.

Go-To Hummus Recipe

Prep Time: 5 minutes(plus way more if you decide to peel the chickpeas)

Cook Time: 0 minutes

Ingredients:

2 (14-ounce) can chickpeas, drained and peeled(optional but recommended)
6 roasted garlic cloves
2 Tablespoons tahini
1/4 cup extra virgin olive oil(preferably Greek)
1 Tablespoon lemon juice
1/2 teaspoon salt

Method:

Combine all of the ingredients in a food processor and blend until smooth. Add extra water if desired for a slightly thinner consistency.
Serve at room temperature. Store leftovers in a refrigerator.

I added a little bit of Garlic Gold on top for some added crunch and texture. It was a neighborhood party and there was a storm keeping everyone inside; garlic breath was not a big concern.

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Sesame Mushroom And Kale

Written on August 31, 2011 by Wannabe Chef in Side Dish

Last week a reader asked me to post about how I cook kale and specifically a mushroom/kale side dish I photographed. You don’t have to ask me twice to cook this dish; kale and mushrooms are two of my favorite foods when prepared properly.

This recipe cooks kale by steaming it, which gets it to that soft and tender point without removing many nutrients. Properly steamed kale should be bright green, stiff, and still have a crunch in its stalk.

As for the mushrooms, I’m a big believer in that you don’t need to buy the expensive mushrooms to bring out an expensive flavor. Mushrooms do a great job of soaking up whatever you give them, so I use oil and seasonings to make the cheapest mushrooms taste like a 5 star dish.

I’m crazy for this sesame seasoning I got in a swag bag from a conference last month.

They do not hold back on the ginger, which I love. You can either use a seasoning like this or make the recipe with just sesame seeds and salt for a milder flavor.

Sesame Mushroom And Kale

Prep time: 0 minutes

Cook time: 10 minutes

Ingredients(makes 2 servings):

2 Tablespoons sesame oil
2/3 cup sliced mushrooms
2 cups kale
1/2 teaspoon salt
1 Tablespoon sesame seeds

Method:

Heat the oil in a pan that has a lid over medium heat.
Sauté the mushrooms until they’ve browned on both sides.
Add the kale and cover the pan. Let it stand still for about a minute while the kale steams.
When all of the kale has turned a vibrant green color, remove the pan from the heat. Add the salt and sesame seeds and toss all of the ingredients together.
Serve hot.

I like to eat mine with seared tempeh, another favorite. Just toss the tempeh in the pan and cook it until it’s browned on both side. It’s delicious and one of the healthiest soy products for you. If you know anyone who refuses to eat healthy because they think healthy eating is bland, this is the dish that will change their mind.

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Quick Fruit Sauce

Written on August 30, 2011 by Wannabe Chef in Sauce

This Summer I’ve been obsessed with these pancakes. Maybe it’s because I hadn’t had good gluten-free pancakes before them. Or because I’m just relishing having a stove that’s not 3 floors down(oh, the life of a student).

As much as I loved having them with a dredge of maple syrup, I figured that couldn’t be good day after day. Instead I wanted to sweeten them the natural way with some fruit. By using chia seeds to thicken the sauce, it comes together literally in minutes but has the texture of a sauce that’s been cooking for much longer.

Look how thick it is(that’s what she said)! It’s hearty, warm, and the perfect pancake companion. The chia seeds not only thicken but also add a healthy dose of omega-3s.

You can use almost any fruit for this—strawberries, blueberries, cherries, grapes, mango. The one exception I’ve found is that using all raspberries creates a very tart sauce. If you want to make a raspberry version, switch out half with a sweeter fruit like strawberries or add a tablespoon of sweetener.

Quick Fruit Sauce

Prep Time: 0 minutes

Cook Time: 5 minutes

Ingredients(makes 1-2 servings):

3/4 cup fruit, fresh or frozen
1 Tablespoon chia seeds

Method:

Pour the fruit into a microwavable bowl and microwave on high for 1 minute for fresh fruit or 3 minute for frozen fruit until hot and bubbly.
Mash the fruit into a puree and mix in the chia seeds.
Let the sauce sit for 5 minutes to thicken. Pour hot onto pancakes, waffles, French toast, or a dessert.

This is so easy to make, I throw it together in between mixing and pouring the pancake batter. If it gets better than that, I don’t know how.

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Chocolate Rum Truffles

Written on August 29, 2011 by Wannabe Chef in Dessert

If you’ve been reading for a long time, you know I don’t really like alcohol, unless it’s in dessert and then I go crazy for it. If I wrote It’s a Wonderful Life, the line would have been, “every time chocolate is mixed with liquor, an angel gets its wings.” I think these are that good. The texture is soft and almost chewy, like a chocolate candy with a sweet, seductive twist.

Embarrassingly enough I’m a lightweight and one of these is enough to make me feel way too good. When I was tempering and tasting the chocolate I wasn’t sure there was enough rum in it, but once the truffles were cooled and I took a bite—wow! They pack a punch of flavor.

No rum? No problem. Improvise the recipe with a different liquor. I can’t wait to try these with Kahlua.

Chocolate Rum Truffles

Prep Time: 30 minutes

Cook Time:

Ingredients(makes about 20 truffles):

1 cup plus 2 Tablespoons semi-sweet chocolate chips OR 9.7oz semi-sweet baking chocolate cut into chunks
2oz Bacardi rum
3 Tablespoons cocoa powder plus more for dusting

Method:

Melt the chocolate over a double boiler. Once it’s in a liquid state, slowly incorporate the rum until it’s all combined and evenly mixed.
Cool the chocolate and rum in a refrigerator for 10 minutes until it’s hardened but still sticks to itself.
Sift in the cocoa powder while mixing the chocolate until all the cocoa powder has been used.
Tear off pieces of chocolate and roll it into 1-inch balls.
Fill a shallow bowl with cocoa powder and roll each ball in the powder until covered all around.
Store at room temperature in an air-tight container.

After making these we’re almost out of rum and chocolate chips. That’s what I call an emergency.

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The Pioneer Woman—Really?

Written on August 28, 2011 by Wannabe Chef in Miscellaneous

If you don’t like a little honest, hysterical, and slightly cruel criticism, you should probably stay away from this post. And my Twitter account. And my Tumblr. And maybe we should start seeing other people.

Yesterday The Pioneer Woman premiered on Food Network. My Twitter feed made me feel like I was supposed to be excited because she’s a food blogger who’s used her talents to become famous and that’s cool, right? Meh, I guess. To be honest, I don’t read her blog or know all that much about her. She seems nice but we’re such different people that if we were stuck in a room for an hour no one would say a word. Still, when I saw other bloggers giving rave reviews and tweeting #TeamRee I felt I should watch it. And then when I read this snarky review on Food Network Humor I knew I had to watch it.

I’m not going to sugarcoat this in rainbows and roses: The show was bad. There wasn’t much originality to it. Everything I’ve heard of Ree’s character was washed away either by Food Network or editing. You could have put Paula Deen or Ina Garten in Montana and they would have came up with the same show. The parts that were technically good, I just didn’t like very much on a personal level. Let me break it down for you:

The Food

On the menu was chicken fried steak with gravy, mashed potatoes, and marinated tomato salad. Oh Lordy, where to start?

(Source)

She made this meal for her husbands and kids because they worked hard on the ranch all day and she wanted a meal that would “stick to their ribs”. Uhh, are you sure you didn’t mean kill them? The steak looked like a greasy hot mess. I’m sure the potatoes are good, but then again what wouldn’t taste good with 2 sticks of butter and a block of cream cheese? And that’s for 12 servings, people. 12. Here’s the nutrition info for the recipe:

Yeah, appetizing. At least she made a marinated tomato salad which will take a little longer to kill you. On the show she didn’t use all of her dressing but on Food Network’s website the recipe has a cup of olive oil for 6 servings. Ugh. Somewhere someone is making that recipe and wondering why they’re more well lubed than a car.

The Dialogue

This was more scripted than an episode of Days Of Our Lives, except no one was bitch slapped, shot, or otherwise screwed over by a Dimera. In other words it was a snooze fest.

Funny Apology Ecard: You sound like the type of person who could tell me where the closest Arby's is.

Ree acted like the cookie cut-out humble ranch wife, always proving that she was just like you and me. Except we don’t have millions of fans and a television show, Ree, we just don’t. She shied away from words like chiffonade because they’re “fancy”. Come on, give people a little more credit than that. And if they don’t know what a chiffonade is they can Google it. You do have Google on the ranch, Ree, don’t you? And she pointed out her little “quirks” like mixing salad dressing in a mason jar. Eh, that’s almost interesting enough for me to give a damn.

But what really bugged me was the submissive wife act that’s outdated by about 50 years. She made it pretty clear that her role was in the kitchen spending her time to cater to her working husband and children because that’s what a good wife does. Can you hear me cringing through the computer screen? Because I am. I just wanted to call her up and tell her, “you can legally vote and own property now, you know.”

The Cowboy

If you’ve ever had fantasies of a romantic cowboy coming into your life and sweeping you off your feet, this guy will chase those away for you. I’d like to think it’s just how he was edited, but in his short screen time he managed to be pretty rude and obnoxious. There wasn’t enough “please and thank you” and way too much “where’s my dinner?” and “get to work”. Someone like that couldn’t get me to move away from the couch let alone from the city.

In the .0001% chance I become a famous food blogger/chef and meet the Pioneer Woman face to face one day, I’m really going to regret this post, huh? Good thing I’m a risk taker.

Did you watch the show? What did you think? Will you keep tuning in? Not even my love for the word “ya’ll” will have me watching again.

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Chocolate Hazelnut Balls

Written on August 26, 2011 by Wannabe Chef in Snack

Something exciting happened last week: I went viral for the first time. No, that doesn’t mean I need to be put on antibiotics. My post on Raw/Vegan Chocolate Hazelnut Cake got picked up on StumbleUpon and things got a little crazy. In 3 days it obliterated almost every page view record my tiny little site had. Last I checked it had 26,000 views; I guess people like cake? I posted How To Use StumbleUpon To Promote Blog Content last February and had a little success since then but this was ridiculous.

Because of that, I’ve had this cake on my mind pretty much non-stop since. Even though it’s raw and vegan, cake isn’t really a “health food”. I wanted something like it that I could eat any time, any place. These chewy little balls are just that. They’re flavorful, portable, and incredibly delicious. It’s almost like having the real dessert but much more socially acceptable for a mid-afternoon snack… or at 10am when you still haven’t put on clothes for the day.

Make sure when you’re forming the balls that there are no date pits in the final product. Even though store-bought dates are usually pit-free, it’s very likely that one or two slipped by, and those are not nice to bite in to.

Chocolate Hazelnut Balls

Prep Time: 10 minutes

Cook Time: 0 minutes

Ingredients(makes 14 balls):

1 1/4 cup hazelnuts, raw
2 cups pitted dates
3 Tablespoons cocoa powder
~2 Tablespoons water

Method:

Blend the hazelnuts into a fine powder in a food processor
Add in the dates and continue blending until the dates have broken up into smaller pieces
Add the cocoa powder and continue blending
Slowly add water into the processor while blending until the flour starts sticking to itself and becoming a dough. Stop adding water and turn off the food processor as soon as the ingredients hold together and form a giant ball.
Store at room temperature in an airtight container.

These make a perfectly healthy snack…

…until you remember you still have leftover frosting and decide to make 2 balls into a cake. Still pretty healthy and incredibly delicious.

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Sweet Freedom Bakery Review

Written on August 25, 2011 by Wannabe Chef in Restaurant Review

One place that kept coming up when I mentioned that I was going to Philadelphia was Sweet Freedom Bakery. So many readers, bloggers, and tweeters recommended this place that I couldn’t not go. I’m happy with anywhere that sells gluten-free treats, but Sweet Freedom goes above and beyond selling only gluten-free, soy-free, corn-free, and vegan desserts. I visited Sunday morning before lunch with Cynthia and Katie.

The selection was—in a word—overwhelming. There were cupcakes, cookies, hand pies, brownies, and bars. It took me 10 minutes just to settle on something.

I ended up getting a brownie sundae cupcake(top left) for myself and a Samoas(top right) and chocolate cupcake with chocolate frosting(bottom) for Madeline and Boots.

I love that they showed you the ingredients for all of the items. Not only does it help people with allergies know what they can have and can’t, but it helps nosy bakers like me know the secret ingredients of their baking.

The brownie cupcake was good, but nothing outstanding. The frosting was delicious but then again when isn’t frosting delicious? The Samoas cupcake was seriously impressive, with a coconut cream filling that looked incredible. But the real stand out was the cinnamon bun.

Photo from Katie

I wasn’t planning on eating one of these, but Katie bought one and insisted that we share. Twist my arm why don’t ya? There was some serious moaning from our side of the table as we ate this. It wasn’t the best gluten-free, vegan cinnamon bun I’ve ever had; it was the best cinnamon bun I’ve ever had—period. It was so light and fluffy you could tell it had to be fresh and homemade. The glaze was sticky and sweet but didn’t overpower the spiciness of the cinnamon. Every part of it was pure bliss.

I can’t lie: I’m as excited as going back to Philadelphia in November for the cinnamon bun as I am the marathon. Carbs have never tasted so good.

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7 Things I Learned From The 2011 Healthy Living Summit

Written on August 24, 2011 by Wannabe Chef in Miscellaneous

1. There’s a Recipe For Good Recipes

The first talk I went to was by Stepfanie Romine about writing a better recipe. A lot of what she said I heard when I attended Techmunch Boston last month, but hearing it again really drove the importance of recipe writing into me. I won’t recap the whole talk; Heather and Courtney already posted great summaries of it. My big takeaway was the importance of prep and cook time in recipes, which I’ll be including in all of mine from now on.

2. All Your Information Is Already On The Internet

Another one of my favorite sessions was about blogger safety presented by Monica. It was a good reality check on the dangers of social media and oversharing. I learned the internet makes it practically impossible for any of us to remain private with sites like spokeo.com that creates a real security problem for bloggers. I’m not too worried though because I got a yellow belt in Tae Kwon Do in 2nd grade and I have broken board to prove it. Stalk at your own risk.

Photo from Anne

3. Doughballs Are Delicious

Doughballs have been floating around food blogs since November, and I’m ashamed to say I hadn’t tried them since this past weekend. I’m not a big fan of cookies to begin with and gluten-free cookies often come out flat and with a bad texture. Katie completely proved me wrong with her gluten-free and vegan doughballs. I can’t think of a better cookie I’ve ever had. I’ve already bookmarked her recipe and plan to make it soon. Which brings me to…

Photo from Brittany

4. Bloggers Are The Best Bakers

After lunch there was a flurry of desserts floating around, and all of them were baked by bloggers. There were sugar cookies from Courtney, granola bars and macaroons from Diana, cake pops from Paige, doughballs from Katie, and sunflower balls from Shana. I only got to taste the doughballs but all of them got rave reviews. Where else but at a blogging conference could people accept baked goods from total strangers and not even think twice?

Photos from Anne and Monica

5. Healthy Living Bloggers Are Some Of The Most Fun People Out There

I wouldn’t really call myself a healthy living blogger. If anything, I’m a food blogger. But I read just as many healthy living blogs as I do food blogs and feel a much stronger connection with healthy living bloggers than food bloggers. It was great seeing people again(or meeting face to face for the first time) whose blogs and twitter feeds I follow religiously as well as befriending people who I didn’t know at all but quickly connected with.

Photo from Meghann

6. I Love Running, But Not At 5am

Another reason that I went to Philly besides the conference is because I’m running the Philadelphia marathon in 3 months. The group run was an excellent chance to get a feel for Philly’s climate and terrain. I ended having a great 16-mile training run, part of the time running with other bloggers training for races. The one stinger was the 4:45am wake-up call and feeling a little like a zombie that night and the next morning. My love for running has a time frame, and apparently that’s between 7am and 5pm.

7. The More Fun You’re Having, The Less Pictures You’ll Take

I probably took less than 20 photos this weekend in total, which is why all of these photos are borrowed from other bloggers. I didn’t think to take photos at the cocktail party, or dining at El Vez. I took hardly any photos of my day with Madeline and Boots, who are two of my favorite people ever, because it was too much fun just to be with them(also because they put me to work making dinner while they watched Project Runway(just kidding, I volunteered)). If you want to read all about that, you’ll have to check out Madeline’s post.

Were you there this weekend? If so, what was your favorite takeaway?

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Chocolate Peanut Butter Swirl Brownies

Written on August 23, 2011 by Wannabe Chef in Dessert

The last time I posted was 5 days ago. There’s a reason for my absence. I spent all week in Philadelphia at the Healthy Living Summit living it up with some great friends. I learned and did so many things in Philly that I can’t wait to share. But not yet. I got home late last night and my head(and bedroom floor) are currently a mess.

One thing I can share is this brownie recipe. Like the almond flour brownie recipe, I baked these and packed them up to bring to Philly and share with bloggers. Most of all I was excited to share these with Cynthia, who also has food allergies(gluten, soy, almond, hazelnut, refined sugar, and dairy). I didn’t have a recipe that avoided all of those allergens, so I made one up and said a little prayer. At first I worried they came out too cakey for my preference, but one taste and I was sold. The only question remaining was how would other people like them.

The response to these was overwhelming. As soon as I tweeted out, the brownies started selling like hotcakes(but way better because they’re brownies, duh). Cynthia really enjoyed them, as did Meghann, Julie, and too many other bloggers to count. I don’t care how good food tastes; nothing feels as good as sharing it with others.

If you’re baking for someone with a peanut or tree nut allergy, sunflower seed butter makes a great substitute for peanut butter.

Chocolate Peanut Butter Swirl Brownies

Prep Time: 20 minutes

Cook Time: 40 minutes

Ingredients(makes 16 brownies):

4.5oz unsweetened baking chocolate(I used Scharffen Berger because it’s soy-free)
1 3/4 cups maple syrup, divided
1 cup unsweetened peanut butter, divided
1/4 teaspoon baking powder
1/8 teaspoon salt
1 cup all-purpose flour(I used Bob’s Red Mill gluten-free all purpose flour)
1/4 cup cocoa powder
3 eggs
1/3 cup water

Method:

Preheat your oven to 350 degrees.
Melt the chocolate and whisk in 1 1/4 cup maple syrup and 1/2 cup peanut butter. Set aside.
In a large bowl, sift together the baking powder, salt, flour, and cocoa powder. Whisk in 2 eggs and 1/3 cup of water.
Mix the chocolate-peanut butter mixture into flour and eggs until completely combines. Pour this into a greased 8×8 baking pan. If the batter is too thick to pour, add extra water until it’s runny but still thick.
Make the peanut butter part by whisking together the remaining maple syrup, peanut butter, and egg.
Pour the peanut butter mixture on top of the brownies and lightly swirl the two batters together a couple times, making sure not to over mix them.
Bake for 40 minutes or until a cake tester inserted in the center comes out clean.
Cool completely before cutting.

Make sure to share these after making them. That way they’ll taste all the better.

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