I have the internet to thank for letting me know this past weekend was Labor Day, and all of the tweets and Facebook statuses about having a day off from work. My mind was pretty occupied because it was moving weekend for me. For the third time I moved back to Providence to start another school year. But first was a day of packing, loading, driving, unloading, unpacking and organizing, and for someone who hates change like me that’s pretty much Hell on Earth.

I should say the day wasn’t all bad; what definitely helped was the trip to Wildflour for a smoothie and raw ganache torte to take home for later. Some people like to unwind with a cold beer on a Friday night, or a glass of wine paired with dinner. I am without question a chocolate man. At the end of the day I just want to sit down with something rich, sweet, and—most importantly—chocolaty, and this was one hell of a day.

I thought I might stop after half. This thing is after all pretty much a block of coconut oil, cocoa powder, cocoa butter(?), sugar, and nuts, and I’ve still got a ways to go before I’ll be in the shape I want to be in for the Philadelphia Marathon. But with each bite I remembered the surprise trip to Bed, Bath & Beyond, the frantic trip through Whole Foods to restock an empty fridge, the plate of raw vegetables, hummus, and plain tempeh that became dinner because I had no energy to cook, and the chocolate made all of that feel better.

There’s been something going around on Pinterest to the effect of,

“Don’t reward yourself with food. You’re not a dog.”

Excuse me? But I love food, especially the ones that are bad for me. And I love dogs, too. I don’t see the problem here. 

Food has a way of affecting your mood, both good and bad. There are things you can’t control, like a long day at work, or other people’s attitude, or stressful move. But you can control what you put in your body. And sometimes the best thing for your body is filled with sugar, fat, and—of course—chocolate.

We all saw where that was going, right?

Go ahead; eat your feelings once and a while. You’ll feel better for it.

If you don’t like a little honest, hysterical, and slightly cruel criticism, you should probably stay away from this post. And my Twitter account. And my Tumblr. And maybe we should start seeing other people.

Yesterday The Pioneer Woman premiered on Food Network. My Twitter feed made me feel like I was supposed to be excited because she’s a food blogger who’s used her talents to become famous and that’s cool, right? Meh, I guess. To be honest, I don’t read her blog or know all that much about her. She seems nice but we’re such different people that if we were stuck in a room for an hour no one would say a word. Still, when I saw other bloggers giving rave reviews and tweeting #TeamRee I felt I should watch it. And then when I read this snarky review on Food Network Humor I knew I had to watch it.

I’m not going to sugarcoat this in rainbows and roses: The show was bad. There wasn’t much originality to it. Everything I’ve heard of Ree’s character was washed away either by Food Network or editing. You could have put Paula Deen or Ina Garten in Montana and they would have came up with the same show. The parts that were technically good, I just didn’t like very much on a personal level. Let me break it down for you:

The Food

On the menu was chicken fried steak with gravy, mashed potatoes, and marinated tomato salad. Oh Lordy, where to start?

(Source)

She made this meal for her husbands and kids because they worked hard on the ranch all day and she wanted a meal that would “stick to their ribs”. Uhh, are you sure you didn’t mean kill them? The steak looked like a greasy hot mess. I’m sure the potatoes are good, but then again what wouldn’t taste good with 2 sticks of butter and a block of cream cheese? And that’s for 12 servings, people. 12.  Here’s the nutrition info for the recipe:

Yeah, appetizing. At least she made a marinated tomato salad which will take a little longer to kill you. On the show she didn’t use all of her dressing but on Food Network’s website the recipe has a cup of olive oil for 6 servings. Ugh. Somewhere someone is making that recipe and wondering why they’re more well lubed than a car.

The Dialogue

This was more scripted than an episode of Days Of Our Lives, except no one was bitch slapped, shot, or otherwise screwed over by a Dimera. In other words it was a snooze fest.

Ree acted like the cookie cut-out humble ranch wife, always proving that she was just like you and me. Except we don’t have millions of fans and a television show, Ree, we just don’t. She shied away from words like chiffonade because they’re “fancy”. Come on, give people a little more credit than that. And if they don’t know what a chiffonade is they can Google it. You do have Google on the ranch, Ree, don’t you? And she pointed out her little “quirks” like mixing salad dressing in a mason jar. Eh, that’s almost interesting enough for me to give a damn.

But what really bugged me was the submissive wife act that’s outdated by about 50 years. She made it pretty clear that her role was in the kitchen spending her time to cater to her working husband and children because that’s what a good wife does. Can you hear me cringing through the computer screen? Because I am. I just wanted to call her up and tell her, “you can legally vote and own property now, you know.”

The Cowboy

If you’ve ever had fantasies of a romantic cowboy coming into your life and sweeping you off your feet, this guy will chase those away for you. I’d like to think it’s just how he was edited, but in his short screen time he managed to be pretty rude and obnoxious. There wasn’t enough “please and thank you” and way too much “where’s my dinner?” and “get to work”. Someone like that couldn’t get me to move away from the couch let alone from the city.

In the .0001% chance I become a famous food blogger/chef and meet the Pioneer Woman face to face one day, I’m really going to regret this post, huh? Good thing I’m a risk taker.

Did you watch the show? What did you think? Will you keep tuning in? Not even my love for the word “ya’ll” will have me watching again.

Back in January when I started looking for a restaurant internship, I had no idea what to expect. I didn’t even know if those sorts of things existed or if anybody would want someone who didn’t attend culinary school. By amazing luck I got an internship at the best restaurant in town almost right away, “auditioned” in April to make sure it was a good fit, and started officially in June. Today’s my 4th-to-last day on the job and I thought I’d share what a “typical” day is like by chance anyone else looking for a restaurant internship is wondering what to expect.

I work during the lunch shift Wednesdays and Fridays. Since I don’t have to be in until 10 I usually sleep in until around 8 and make breakfast around 8:30-9. This is usually the last chance I’ll get to eat a full meal until mid-afternoon so I try to make it filling with protein, fiber, and fat. A normal breakfast for me is 3 eggs, gluten-free pancakes, fruit “jam” made with microwaved berries and chia seeds that have gelled for a few minutes, and almond butter. This day I also was still hungry after breakfast so I grabbed a peach on the way out the door around 9:30.

The restaurant is 5 miles away and I don’t have a car so I bike. Transportation is something to think about for any job you get. I didn’t know how to ride a bike when I first got the internship but quickly taught myself in time for my first day. Besides lowering your carbon footprint, you get pretty fit biking 5 miles 2 times a day 2 days a week.

Please don’t come and steal my bike now that you know which one it is.

The first thing I do at the restaurant is change into a uniform. Add a spiffy coat and sleek black hat and—voila! You’re a chef. Pants are also part of the uniform; who doesn’t like to start their day by putting on someone else’s pants?

There are countless jobs I do at the restaurant and it’s hard to stay consistent since the menu changes weekly. Typically I do things that are long and repetitive, which no one else seems to like but I love. It makes the day go by faster to only do a few things for a while than a lot of things quickly.

One thing I usually do is make pasta. It’s an Italian restaurant so we go through pasta like it’s bread(which we also go through a lot of). It’s a little ironic to have a celiac making pasta in the kitchen but from what I hear I’m pretty good at it.

With the pasta machine I can make spaghettini(little spaghetti), pennette(little penne), and bucatini. It spits out the shape and I cut + bundle them to throw in the freezer. It usually gets used that day or the next, so it’s definitely fresh when we serve it.

My favorite pasta to make, garganelli, is a little more complicated. I don’t make the dough for this; it’s usually made and sheeted the day before. What I do is take the sheets of pasta, which are roughly the size of a piece of paper, and cut them into 3-inch squares. Then I wet one corner and roll the other end over to it with the handle of a big wooden spoon(we used to have an actual dowel for this but I think it broke).

There’s a flat piece of wood with ridges in it that texturizes the pasta when it’s rolled on to it. It slips easily off the end and gets put on a floured tray to go in the freezer.

I told you I liked mindless, repetitive tasks, which is why I love doing this. I usually make 200+ at a time, which takes around an hour.

There’s also a lot of prep work that is involved with the vegetables we serve. Beets are commonly on the menu and need to be cleaned, roasted, and peeled along with the beet greens. Peas are also very time consuming. I’ve literally spent hours taking the fibers off of snow peas, on days when my coworkers got to go home early no less. That job really sucked.

Technically we are allowed to make ourselves a snack or meal at the restaurant, but I choose not to. Part of this is because I’ve seen how easy it is for gluten contamination to occur in a restaurant that has open flour all over the counters; the other part is that I could eat the restaurant out of vegetables like it’s nobody’s business.

Some days I work straight through until 3 without eating; others I’ll have a snack around 12 or 1. It’s either a Ziploc full of nuts that I pack or a Larabar/Pranabar. Anything with nuts that’s portable and semi-filling is a go, especially since it’s not a meal that will spike your energy and then make you crash. Working in a kitchen really is like a marathon and not a sprint: It takes a lot out of you; you need to remind yourself to hydrate or you’ll forget and start getting dizzy; you’re always on your feet. If that isn’t a marathon, I don’t know what is.

I get home around 3:30 after biking back. By this point I’m starving for lunch and something raw/vegan always taste good. This day I had a bowl with zucchini noodles, carrot noodles, bean sprouts, chickpeas, a homemade peanut sauce, and mushrooms sautéed in sesame oil. I was definitely craving mushrooms because I had just finished roasting a pan at the restaurant. The difference is their mushrooms are $20 a pound and mine are $4. I couldn’t imagine paying $20 a pound for mushrooms, or at least not the legal kind{kidding}.

The rest of my day isn’t that exciting; it involves more eating and a lot of Netflix + True Blood, aka how I’d be spending my entire Summer if it weren’t for my internship. I’ve really enjoyed my time at the restaurant, but I’m ready to move on. For the school year I’ll be focusing on balancing classes and food blogging. Maybe next Summer I’ll look for an actual job at a restaurant, but it would have to be one whose food philosophy 100% fits with mine or I would never truly feel comfortable cooking in that kitchen.

Move over, Anne Burrell, there’s a new restaurant chef in town.

Some of you have asked about my internship, which has been well underway for a month now. I haven’t talked about it much simply because I wasn’t sure what to talk about. A lot of the things I’m learning don’t translate to blog posts easily. So I sent out a plea asking for jumping points and here are some of the FAQ I got.

What’s involved in a typical shift?

My shift starts at 10am. The chef lays out a list of ingredients that need to be prepped for that night or the next few days so often I get started on one or two of those tasks. Our service is 11:30-2, during which time I could continue with food prep if it’s a light day or if things are busy get pulled into the salad and pizza station. The dinner shift chefs come in at 2 and for the last hour I’m there I usually work on one or two things that still need to be done for that night. I get out at 3 and, even though it’s just 5 hours of work, I feel as though a truck hit me usually. Time spent in the kitchen is no joke.

How do you think this internship will help you get to where you want to go?

To be honest I have no clue where I want to go. As much as I love food blogging, I wouldn’t put much stock into it as a job. I thought that working in a restaurant would be a logical step towards a real career. The very first day, my shift boss told me outright “keep cooking as a hobby.” As much as I’ve enjoyed learning to cook in a restaurant setting, I’m not sure I could see myself doing it day in and day out. Regardless, I’m picking up a lot of practical skills.

How do you stay gluten-free in an Italian restaurant setting?

Simply put, I avoid eating anything at the restaurant as much as I can. The food isn’t bad; in fact it’s terrific. It’s just what I would call a “meat and wheat” kind of menu and that’s not how I eat at all. Since I have to actually ingest gluten to have a reaction, I can work with it as much as I need to. If I do need a snack, I keep a bag of cashews with me.

What has been your biggest kitchen mistake?

Thankfully, I haven’t made any huge, irreversible mistakes. The only thing I can think of is when I was chopping parsley and nicked a tiny piece of my fingernail chopping it fine.

Another time I was using the meat slicer to cut prosciutto thinly and I got maybe 15 slices out of it before the meat was torn to shreds and useless. I’m not sure if it’s the way the meat was marbled or if I mishandled it on the slicer but I felt pretty bad after that.

What’s the best thing you’ve learned so far?

My knife skills have advanced leaps and bounds since getting into the kitchen. I now know the proper way to hold it and how to dice all the different types of vegetables. I’m even becoming jealous of the fancy knives and cutting boards I’m spoiled with at the restaurant and think I might have to splurge on a set for myself at the end of the Summer.

What has been the best job so far? The worst?

My favorite jobs are the ones that are simple, repetitive, and take a long time so I can zone out. Cleaning sugar snap peas and rolling garganelli pasta are some of the best.

The worst are beets—anything to do with them, like peeling hundreds of tiny beets after they’ve cooled or having to devein the leaves. Both leave me with sore hands and dirt under my fingernails for a week.

What goes on behind the scenes of your place?

There’s really no behind the scenes dirt to spill, and not just because it’s an open kitchen. I love the restaurant and their commitment to using fresh, local ingredients whenever possible.

Well, that’s a glimpse into my internship. If you have any other questions, I’d be happy to answer them either in the comments section or in a separate post.

Today I’m in NYC visiting some friends over the holiday weekend. I don’t have any red, white, or blue recipes to share for the very good reason that peanut butter and chocolate are none of those colors. Instead, I’ll hold on to that recipe a little longer and share some of the new things I discovered in June that I can’t get enough of.

It is scary how accurate this tastes. I don’t know how they make carbonated water and “natural flavoring” taste like a pina colada; I don’t want to know how. I just want a fountain of this in my house.

If you haven’t noticed, I have a new header designed by Ryan and an overall new layout designed by myself. The old layout was looking a bit shabby and cluttered whereas this one is stripped down.

I don’t know how “new” this relationship is; Friday was Netflix and I’s one month anniversary. We celebrated with dinner and a movie. Actually, it was more like dinner, a movie, a documentary and 3 cartoons. I don’t want to jinx anything but I could see us being happy together for a long time.

I’ve also been enjoying on repeat this song:

And while we’re at it, this song, too:

I know, I know, I have the musical taste of a preteen girl.

What’s new in your life?